A softer mom — that’s who I want to be.

Not a mom who reacts quickly out of frustration.

Not a mom who yells to be heard.

But a mom who pauses… who breathes… who gets down on her child’s level so they feel seen and understood.

These are things I’ve had to learn with intention — and I’m still learning.

I didn’t grow up with a soft mom, so I’m becoming the mother I needed when I was little. I’m tending their hearts the way a shepherd tends his sheep: gently, patiently, protectively.

There’s a Bible verse that gets thrown around a lot — “spare the rod, spoil the child.” But shepherds didn’t hit their sheep with rods. They guided them. Gently redirected them. Kept them safe. When Jesus calls Himself our Good Shepherd — the One who leaves the ninety-nine to go after the one — I don’t picture Him storming in with anger… so why should I go after my children with harshness?

There is a better way. I know there is.

I still remember the first time I yelled at one of my kids.

The guilt washed over me instantly. I thought:

How must that have felt for their little heart?

To suddenly hear my voice raised, sharp, frightening —

when it never had been before?

That memory still softens me.

So I began making changes — slow and intentional.

Before reacting, I take a deep breath.

I tell myself, “It’s okay. It’s not that bad.”

And then I respond with grace instead of urgency.

Because the truth is:

We all make mistakes.

I make mistakes every day — and I am shown grace.

My children deserve that same grace as they learn and grow.

Mistakes are human — not sinful rebellions — and motherhood gives us the sacred role of guiding hearts, not shaming them.

When our children mess up, we have a choice:

Will we correct with connection… or with fear?

Will we guide… or will we wound?

I am choosing softness — not because I’m perfect,

but because love is the voice I want them to remember.

If you’re reading this as a mama, I hope you feel this truth settle deep:

Your children don’t need a perfect mother.

They need a safe one.

One who sees their hearts — not just their behavior.

Grace is the way the Good Shepherd leads us.

May we lead our little ones the same. 🤍